I would like to thank the Republican party for this nomination
Thank you for gerrymandering the districts, defunding education and for years insinuating what I finally came out and said. Establishment- ya losers, my opponents- ya losers, and my supporters .... ha ha.. ya losers
Man who am I kidding I don't even talk like this.
You all outta be ashamed of yourselves.
I, Donald John Drumpf, brought out the worst in all of you. All your delusions of grandeur, thinking you are better than someone else because you were expulsed from a womb on one side of a line, thinking the old book you live by is better than another old book on the other side of the world someone else lives by that's almost the same, thinking America was great until the brown people fucked it up. NEWS FLASH! America was great...until white people got here. I have been waiting for years to expose the bigotry of so many in the American right.
Meanwhile I've sold this primitive juvenile concept of luxury to shit for brains like you, there is no such thing! You pay 100 times as much for a hotel room because it has an aluminum chandelier with gold spray paint, it's all in your head, its the same shit! I buy gas station wine, put a drop of soy sauce in it and sell it for a grand and people fall for it! It's the same as my political circus, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, I've been bullshitting my way through this whole thing asking myself "what would Joe six pack do?" Thinking people were too smart to fall for it. I'm just a jagoff with a surgically implanted toupee, I can't run company without bankrupting it much less the world's biggest economy. I'd have waaaay more money if 30 years ago I had invested my fathers inheritence in mutual funds and retired retired to start a career ion water colors instead of gallivanting around hiring lawyers to save me after every failure. Skepticism is sexy people, quit being stupid.
Hillary Clinton is my homie, she came to my wedding! I confess, I lost a game of poker to her 20 years ago, and she bet me a beer that I wouldn't make up this crazy persona to corral the idiots of our country into a festival of ignorance to hijack the republican party, and y'all dumbasses fell for it! Well Rodham, I prefer Shiner and look forward to tasting sweet victory.
I've been a democrat for years, I've only started saying racist shit recently, I've changed every position I've had, I figured it would be obvious!
Now let me tell you some stuff that should be obvious, we are one humanity, God does not see race, religion or borders so neither should we. He just wants us to love one another as if every human being anywhere were your own child or parent. Showing off wealth is not only immature, it's ridiculous. Focus on lessening the suffering of others and feeding your brain if you want to earn the respect of those around you. Hillary, I love you but you had your chance in '08 Bernie is the man for the job we need now.
Effective immediately I am giving 99% of my wealth to charities that look after Syrian refugees, I'm moving to an island in the south pacific to get as far away from you nutjobs as possible, I will conclude with the speech at the end of Charlie Chaplin's the great dictator,
listen to it carefully, and get some counseling you people make me sick.
