As I get older, I become as increasingly tactful as I do inappropriate, as increasingly logical as I do irrational, as increasingly social as cooped up like a whale in an aquarium. This last aspect is an unbalanced self inflicted self indulging public spectacle of self mutilation. It illustrates in pixar clarity a struggle I experience with millions of young people every day. It lubricates the decline of society as we know it, it neuters our collective ambition, and reduces thousands every minute to a mere shadow of a figment of what they once were. It is the epitome of how cool I used to be, and how pathetic I have become.
I have replaced pot… with facebook.
I would wake up with a bowl and some Ween and Flaming Lips.
I now wake up to facebook notifications and NPR.
I would change up my routine by getting a new bong and smoking with a friend.
I now change up my routine by getting a new profile pic and adding a “friend.”
I used to have an experience and relish it with a cloudy THC tingle.
I now have an experience and wonder how I will word it in my status update.
But honestly, let’s delve into this, are they really that different?
I’ve replaced superficial acquaintances based on burning joints,
with superficial acquaintances based on burning daylight.
I’ve replaced using weed to pay people to talk to me,
with using twice as much valuable time to pay people to talk to me.
I’ve traded an inability to complete sentences,
With an inability to stop arguing with my fox news aficionado friends from my small town while looking at people’s travel pictures before realizing that it’s 2 in the morning.
Both time vampires, slippery slopes of social ineptitude, and border line habit forming to addictive by products of human culture are forces to be reckoned with in our modern society. But for me, NOT ANYMORE!
I kicked the last habit, and I will now kick the final habit by committing facebook suicide!
Alright, facebook.com, email and password, account, remove my account!
NO NO NO I’m not sure CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!
Sigh…. Oh cool Raga Fuck is playing a show tonight, let’s go!
